Is Chasing Money Making You Happy? with Tom Papasian

Growing up with a single mother in a one-bedroom apartment on the French Riviera, Tom Papasian saw extraordinary wealth all around him but experienced a very different reality at home. As a young boy, he quietly decided that he would make enough money to ensure that neither he nor his mother ever felt financially vulnerable again.

That decision shaped the next two decades of his life. Tom worked relentlessly, moved between countries and pursued one opportunity after another. Yet however much he earned or changed his circumstances, the sense of security he was chasing never quite arrived.

This episode explores a form of dissatisfaction that can be difficult to explain: nothing has necessarily gone badly wrong, but the life you have worked hard to build no longer feels right. For Tom, it appeared as restlessness, an inability to tolerate boredom, Sunday dread, frustration with the people closest to him and a recurring urge to escape by changing jobs, starting something new or moving somewhere else.

What makes this conversation different is that it is not a dramatic story of everything falling apart. It is about noticing the quieter signs before that happens and confronting the unsettling possibility that the identity which once motivated and protected you may now be holding you back.

Tom talks candidly about having to grieve the person he had spent years becoming. He describes moving away from an identity built almost entirely around money, achievement and self-reliance and beginning to ask a different set of questions: What matters to me? What makes me feel alive? What comes naturally to me? And what kind of life do I actually want?

Our conversation covers:

• why financial security does not always create an internal sense of safety;
• how boredom, anger and constant restlessness can point to something deeper;
• why changing jobs, locations or goals may not resolve the real problem;
• what it means to separate your identity from your work and achievements;
• how personal values can provide direction when you do not know what comes next;
• why changing course does not require rejecting everything you were before;
• how to explore a new direction while continuing to meet financial and family responsibilities;
• the importance of allowing uncertainty rather than immediately trying to fix or escape it.

Tom also shares the practical reality of retraining over four years while working full-time, moving home and becoming a father. His story is not about abandoning responsibility to “follow your passion”. It is about gradually creating space for another part of yourself, and recognising that the qualities which helped you build your old life can also help you create what comes next.

If you have ever thought, I should be satisfied, so why doesn’t this feel like enough? , this conversation may help you understand what that feeling is trying to tell you.

Find out more about Tom at www.tompapasianpsychotherapy.com or you can contact him on LinkedIn.